Step 1: Beware The Charts.

In the App Store, you will find a seemingly useful feature, charts of the “Top Free”, “Top Paid” and other such categories of games. It may seem that this is a sure-fire way to find decent apps, right? Remember that you are the Tap Trainee™, and many of the people who download these charted apps are untrained, and as such can be suckered into some of the more lacklustre games.

We are connoisseurs of mobile gaming, so we shall sniff out the metaphorical truffles of the App Store and munch them up in a lovely salad of enjoyable gameplay. To be honest, the charts are mostly full of button mushrooms and toadstools.

Too many metaphors? Tough. Metaphors are a staple food of the seasoned Skillful Swiper™ like myself. Let’s move on.

Step 2: Genres That Work On Consoles Are Rarely Good On A Mobile Platform.

Well, that’s a bit of a mouthful, isn’t it? However it’s a good rule of thumb to be reserved when considering downloading a console port/ “Big Name Game”, as often they look good, but control like unruly farts, and unlike throwing away a (relatively) cheap console controller, lobbing your phone because you can’t turn and shoot in Battlefield 2 is a one way street to bankruptcy. That said – I Love Katamari on iOS is absolutely brilliant, but really bloody difficult. There also appears to be a partially free sequel called Katamari AMORE which has a Pac-Man level, so check that out.

Step 3: App Reviews Are(n’t) Useful.

If you’re sitting and you’re looking at an app, for instance (and ease of familiarity) Angry Birds, you may not be sure whether to drop 69p on it, so you have a look at the reviews. Here is a sample review of Angry Birds:

Saf  ★★★★★

by Syzmm08

v good

Yeah. Well, this isn’t helpful at all. I must assure you that this is a genuine review of Angry Birds, you can see it on the game’s online App Store page. Either way, unless you’re willing to dig though all the illiteracy and unhelpfulness, there’s actually lots of websites devoted to giving proper reviews for apps (and we’ll be joining those hallowed ranks soon; watch this space). Some excellent mobile gaming sites are Indie Game Magazine: Mobile and No Brainer App Reviews. Expert reviews are almost always more helpful than customer reviews.

Step 4: Know Your Device (And What It Can Handle)

If you’re using this guide, there’s probably one thing I can safely assume about you. You have an iDevice. Indeed all iDevices from the iPod Touch onward is able to use apps, however one thing you need to keep in mind always, is the fact that a smaller device like my iPod Touch is probably going to struggle with something graphically intensive, whereas my girlfriend’s iPad Mini can handle anything you throw at it. This is because like a PC, these devices have a limited amount of memory to work with, and the newer, more expensive gadgets will handle much more. If you find that your device is running slowly, it can actually help to just switch it off and on again. This refreshes the memory cache which should speed everything up again.

Now with all the information I have imparted to you, you should be able to make your way through the App Sore with the minimum of fuss and find all the brilliant games which are usually hidden from view. However I have one last piece of advice – keep looking. The App Store is constantly full of new content, which is great fun to play. There are loads of new games popping up all the time. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that a lot of them are Indie games. Games like the recent Year Walk, whose hand-drawn visuals and crippling atmosphere have been netting it scores as high as 5/5 from the Telegraph and 95% from IGM. Another game I’m completely besotted with is Vlambeer’s Ridiculous Fishing. It’s a fishing game in the loosest sense, it’s the first fishing game I’ve played that lets you attach a chainsaw to your lure for pushing through dense patches of fish.

In terms of big name games, there’s apps like Epic Games’ Infinity Blade series which couples amazing graphics with really slick gameplay, it really makes swipe sword-fighting feel weighty and realistic, though if you’re looking for blood and gore a la Gears of War, you’ll be sorely disappointed. However, if you fancy slapping a giant death knight with a balloon sword, then this game is the one to fulfill your strangely specific fantasy. One of my favourite apps though, is Super Hexagon. It’s perfectly matched to the iOS platform, with its short shelf life, addictive gameplay and strangely erotic lady voices which make it an awesome remedy to lunch-break boredom. (Or an aid to procrastination, whatever.)

Congratulations! If you’ve read and understood my simple steps, you are now an official Tap Trainee™. If you have any questions, let me know in the comments below, tweet me @PortlyGentleman or alternatively email me at lucasbert@screenshapedeyes.com.

Secondly, how many gamers actually know enough about firearms to tell the difference between a Larue and what the gun community refers to as an ‘M4gery’ ? The turn of phrase refers to an AR15 built from miscellaneous or cheap parts, with no discernible make or model due to the upper receiver being from one manufacturer, the lower from another, the barrel from a third, etc. It would be simple to just label the gun an M4, M16 or AR15 at no cost. They inflated the cost of the game for minor bits of realism no one expected, and did it over and over again with various weapons. EA licensed a number of big names in the firearms world, including a number of FN and Heckler and Koch weapons, Magpul furniture, ELCAN scopes… none of them could be cheap, seeing as all of those companies are industry giants.

What it breaks down to is that this isn’t a public relations move. It isn’t cowering before the outrage of gun control advocates or not having the backbone to stand up to them, depending on your perspective. It’s about saving money instead of throwing it into the wind, which is something I expect almost any game company I buy from to do, so that the costs aren’t passed on to consumers or games don’t flop due to basic budgeting failures. This should be absolutely basic stuff- not tossing money down the drain to get name-brand firearms into your game. You can use that money to make your game better, instead of simply more ‘realistic’. MacMillian, Larue, and Magpul will do fine without the spots in games, and no matter how many brand-name firearms you put in a game it won’t attract actual shooters. Actual shooters will probably go out and actually shoot, doubly so if the game in question is a steaming turd like Warfighter was. I’m not going to give EA props on this one, because it’s like cheering someone on for ceasing to pound their own feet into a pulp with a ball-peen hammer. You reward success, not a cessation of stupidity.

Ludum Dare, for those of you who aren’t familiar, is a competition where games developers and like-minded individuals gather to create games around a theme. They’re given 48 hours to do so and this year’s theme was minimalism. I bravely put on my indie hat and leapt head first into the thousands of games on offer to pick out a random selection (a twenty-sided die may have been involved) for your pleasure/displeasure/apathy. Here’s the first lot.

Bonsai Bash

Bonsai Bash is a bit boring, if I’m completely honest. Armed with a shotgun, a fly buzzes through a house so stereotypically Japanese that even the bonsai tree thinks it’s a little over-the-top. You can shoot the fly, but it’s incredibly difficult to do so and succeeding merely leads to another fly spawning. I think it’s trying to make a comment about the pointlessness of violence, with no real results to your rampant firing, but it’s rather hard to care.

SPACEd Out

SPACEd Out is a clever little rhythm game where the player must hold down the spacebar to elongate a rectangle so that it fits with the endless parade of multi-coloured rectangles flying towards it. It’s simple, somewhat compelling, and appears to have a JRR Tolkien poem running in the background. What makes this game most noteworthy to me is how minimalistic it manages to be; there are no instructions and none are needed. It takes a second or two to grasp the basics. I’d easily buy a full version of this for my smartphone or tablet. Hint.

Bonsai

Yeah, another bonsai game. I want a tiny tree, that’s all I’ve ever asked for. Bonsai lacks shotguns and insects and instead provides a heavily overgrown bonsai tree. By clicking on (and hence removing) each of the pixellated leaves, you save the tree from dying. There’s no drama, no gameplay as such, just clicking on the bonsai tree over and over until the game suggests you’ve clicked enough. It’s probably incredibly accurate to the experience of cutting a real life bonsai tree, which is to say it was quite dull.

SHOOT CAR, SHIT PANTS

While I make take issue with the veracity of the latter part of the title, this is actually quite a fun little game. Cars rush towards you, borne upon a high-octane theme song that evokes memories of old Megadrive games, and you shoot them. Hit them and they flip over in a satisfying way. You can’t die. There are no other weapons. It’s just you, a handgun and the highway.

Gunslinger

It’s the mini-game from Call of Juarez writ small. A desert scene, broken by two silhouettes of armed men squaring off. The red sun illuminates the gently rolling tumbleweed as the men stare each other down, each waiting for the twitch that would betray the possibility of action. A gun fires. One man dies. It’s really just a game of reflexes, but one that is so neatly done that it’s hard to find fault. It might be my favourite thus far.

Right. That’ll do for just now. Go vote for your favourites and let me know which games you’d like to see covered in the comments. There’s possibly too many games for me to cover by myself, so any hint’s a help.

SSE: How did you get involved with Conpulsion?

We’d just finished clearing out a tricky orc fortress and were relaxing in the inn when a strange wizened old man approached us and… Possibly more accurately, when I moved to Edinburgh I was looking for roleplaying societies and my girlfriend at the time signed me up to University of Edinburgh’s own society GEAS (or the Grand Edinburgh Adventuring Society). GEAS run Conpulsion and when the committee restructured, they asked me to run it, based on my experiences in the business world. I asked Gregor (Hutton) to be my deputy because I thought his knowledge of the industry and contacts would be invaluable.

SSE: Were there many difficulties in setting up such a successful event?

The previous Conpulsion organiser (2011) had set up a new committee structure, which allowed Gregor and I to experiment with the formula of the convention and consider what we wanted to keep and which things to remove. It allowed us to emphasise what I felt was the heart of the convention – the fact we were all having fun doing this for charity. When we were suggesting some of our ideas, such as broadening the scope of the convention to discuss gaming across more formats, we encountered some resistance but, in general, it was a case of seeing how our ideas would work. In our second year we reduced extraneous costs further, we had used walkie-talkies, had a video on the Friday night icebreaker and paid for a disco and bar staff. All of these cost a small fortune, and weren’t necessary, allowing us to put more money back into things like guests. We also moved to selling T-shirts online only as this meant we knew the exact demand, rather than printing them in the hope they would sell. It was all about spotting efficiencies and adapting to people’s feedback.

SSE: How do you see the event evolving over the next few years?

Realistically this is hard for me to answer. A new committee can decide to run it in their own unique way but I feel Gregor and I set the event back on the map and it is my hope that it will gently grow during the global economic instability and then, when the money is back in people’s pockets, it can spread its wings.

SSE: Conpulsion is a very traditional tabletop convention. This year, there was a lot of discussion of digital media vs print; could you see Conpulsion integrating more digital elements?

I work in the videogames industry and I am often slightly incredulous about their lack of involvement in this type of event, especially when they are asked along and I know them well. Any opportunity to show off your game and get feedback must be valuable? Personally I think that the different areas of gaming have never been closer. Let’s consider Sam Richard‘s Tweet RPG for one. Fighting Fantasy books on your phone, board games now beautifully rendered on computers so that you can play with friends remotely. PDF copies of games, Kickstarter, where do I stop. I think it is important that any event moves with the times and adapts. By doing this professionally, and within your means, you can stand out from the crowd, be noticed, and attract more people to your event.

SSE: There was, we found, quite often conflicts between events, with the talks and gaming sessions often running simultaneously. Would you like to see the convention expanded to cover another day or so?

The current venue isn’t right for it and Conpulsion has traditionally run across the weekend. As a good convention expands it has to cater for more people to ensure that those who miss out on game slots have something else to do. I like having choices and the more choices the better, giving people the opportunity to try different things. With the excellent media coverage we got the talks are almost all available online and… well, there’s always next year too.

SSE: Were there any personal favourite games that you weren’t able to showcase this year?

All the games that weren’t there… That’s an impossible question to answer – I’d have loved a Gary Gygax run D&D game but that would have involved a Ouija board. Actually I heard he was quite a stickler for rules. We had many great games run by their creators and would have liked to have a good board game guest, so fingers crossed for next year.

SSE: How would you encourage people on the peripheries of tabletop gaming to come to an event like Conpulsion?

Word of mouth. The vast number of positive press articles for the last two years. It’s very affordable and if you live out of Edinburgh come and see our glorious city and make a holiday of it, there is plenty of affordable accommodation and the Bed and Breakfasts are excellent. I convinced one video gamer I know, who had never roleplayed or boardgamed, to come along. When I saw him on Sunday he simply grinned and said, “Phil, wow, that was simply amazing. I never thought I’d have so much fun.” And proceeded to tell me about all the games he had played, with glee. I reckon that’s the best advert.

You can follow Phil on Twitter and Conpulsion via its official site, Twitter page and Facebook page.

So what does any of this have to do with one of the strangest, loudest communities in gaming?

I’m not saying that the BioWare Social Network is a bad place. It’s not anything like turning on your headphones during a game of Call of Duty or League of Legends- but it’s a strange, zealous, loud place where things like Garrus body pillows aren’t considered particularly strange. Most of its denizens are the most hardcore fans of their franchises, and said franchises often deserve the kind of accolades that the players heap on them. However, the people of BioWare Social Network are often counted amongst the whiniest groups in gaming, which is something I find a touch unfair. They are the first to suggest content, and their enthusiasm for their franchises as well as their seemingly depthless pockets has helped series such as Mass Effect and Dragon Age grow. When a group of dissatisfied customers (henceforth referred to as Retakers, after their unfortunate group name) complained about the poor ending of Mass Effect 3, virtually the entire gaming community derided them without so much as bothering to listen to their complaints or requests, least of all BioWare or EA. The people in the Retake movement were labeled as ‘entitled’ and ‘spoiled’- something I find strange. If customers are dissatisfied about something, shouldn’t they stand up for themselves?

But wait a minute, all they did was loudly and clearly voiced their displeasure at a product they considered not up to their standards. I’m not going to reopen old wounds, but when even  Jim Sterling begrudgingly admits that the Retake movement had a point, there may be something to it.

Actual, real-life Mass Effect fans stand outside BioWare Headquarters one week after Mass Effect 3 is released. Credit: Fox

In fact, despite the smears and name-calling certain parts of the industry engaged in, they managed to beat the EA public relations machine. Silence was ineffective- the less BioWare and EA said, the louder and more public they became. Retake Mass Effect members drew attention from all sides as they (mostly) constructively lobbied BioWare and EA to deliver on their promises. Over 80,000$ was donated to charity as a form of protest. Some members even sent the BioWare headquarters cupcakes in an effort to make themselves heard. They even received attention from Forbes as their campaign continued- no less than five articles have been written about the ongoing saga of Mass Effect 3. What happened with SimCity and Aliens? EA slipped customers a free game, and everyone was happy. Blizzard sat down and shut up, and the fiasco regarding the lack of PvP and always-on DRM simply faded away with Diablo III. No major changes have occurred to the games, despite the fact that all three were shipped in a state that qualifies as ‘non-functional’. Diablo remains unimpressive more than six months on. Simcity has become something to shrug at. Where is the outrage? You dropped sixty or more dollars on a game that doesn’t function. Worse than that, it wasn’t an isolated incident- for you, or for simply that game.

The unwillingness of gamers to hold companies responsible, to agitate for what they were promised (namely a game that works) is at least partially responsible for the state of the industry today. EA and others know they can get away with murder, and do. BSN was thrown into an unrelenting fury that saw real-world good come from disappointment at an ending- not an issue of function. They brought EA to their knees over that- reams of content, including the Extended Cut DLC were released as a direct result. SimCity and Diablo players took it lying down, which is why those games are in the state that they are. Mass Effect has been improving since the public relations disaster; has Diablo? There are no ways for gamers to advocate for themselves, besides kicking up a fuss. Largely, by the time the average consumer figures out just how badly they’ve been fleeced, it’s too late. The sixty dollars has long ago been traded for a game that gives you a server error, something overlooked by reviewers playing on private servers.

We as gamers need to stand up to publishers and developers, or they’ll keep publishing crap and lying to consumers. I’m not saying that developers and publishers act maliciously or deliberately, but none the less they occasionally fail to follow through or support their products. The Mass Effect fiasco put a dent in EA’s stock prices, and only then did they start listening. It’s sad it’s come to that- I personally would rather not have to harm a company to get them to listen to perfectly valid complaints. It boils down to a matter of respect, and it seems that when it comes to dealing with most triple-A companies, they prefer to play by prison rules over civil discourse. The industry can’t stand much more of being battered between fans and publishers, and it’s sad. I hope that there can be some level of compromise , otherwise, it seems that our only recourse as consumers is to kick up as much of a PR nightmare as we can.

Kairo is a game that doesn’t want an over-arching story to lead you through its puzzles. It excels in producing a captivating atmosphere, both through the level design and sound design, and it relies on this ethos to pull the player into the world. The music, an electronic murkiness in the guise of a dream, is excellent work from Bartosz Szturgiewicz (of Wounds) and is available for a measly couple of Euros.

The world is left in front of you as a toy, a geography tied to the otherworldly needs of the puzzles. The locations proffered by the game are starkly coloured, with broad brush strokes of vivid colours marking the alien architecture. Vast halls of floating slabs and soothing rivers of bright lights nestle next to courtyards suspended in the white nothingness of the world. It’s an aesthetic designed to feel at once familiar and foreign, the corridors and platforms of other games twisted to leave the player feeling discomfited.

It’s these locales that host the puzzles, puzzles that eschew hand-holding (although, for the terminally confused, a hint menu has been slipped into the pause menu) and promote exploration. While exploration is the primary tool in solving the puzzles in front of you, it’s rarely the most effective one. Certain puzzles do lend themselves to note-taking and treading the world’s entwined levels, but more often than not, they are best solved with trial-and-error. The player is there to flail around until they hit on the specific pattern that the game needs to allow progress.

Take the game’s most arresting example of trial-and-error puzzling. A spacious courtyard lays in front of you, a small pyramid in the centre marking the goal of this room. Stepping onto the grass leads to a wall sliding from the ground to block off your progress forward and moving to the side indicates that this puzzle is a maze that only exists while you’re in it. It’s damned clever and made me laugh with surprise when I first cottoned on to the concept. The issue, however, is that this puzzle doesn’t require much in the way of thought. It’s as linear as any FPS you care to name, with progress being dictated by the walls, not the player, and it becomes dull to follow the exact steps the game has decided you must.

To forestall certain comments, I must note that I am aware of how puzzle games work. There is always a particular solution and the player must be corralled into that solution by the game, it’s an unavoidable element of the genre. However, where Kairo fails is in the conflicting nature of the puzzles. It wants the player to solve the puzzles through applied thought, which is admirable, but so many of the puzzles are solved through repeating patterns with a small change: button A, B, then C. If that fails, A, then C, then B. BAC, BCA, CAB, and finally, I CBA. There remain puzzles in the game that I solved by accident, then spent ten or so minutes still trying to solve them unaware I’d literally stumbled into the solution. It’s unfortunately the cross the game has forced itself to bear; in allowing the player complete autonomy, it leaves itself helpless if the player finds the puzzles aren’t strong enough to convince them to push forward.

It might be a little disingenuous to suggest the game lacks a story at all. There is the hints of a civilisation as developed as ours, perhaps even our world itself, destroyed. Television screens flicker with images of the continents and images from old news programmes, but many of these are developed within the extra collectables and secrets the game offers. It is very much worth going out of your way to find these, but the game might lack context for any player who doesn’t explore as fully as the game hopes they will.

Would I recommend Kairo as a game? I’m not sure. The puzzles range from stultifyingly easy to mildly challenging and when the game offers up the latter, it’s an excellent riddle for the player to dig into. I’m just not sure that there are enough of these to warrant buying Kairo as a game.

Would I recommend Kairo as an experience? Definitely. There’s an emotional element to being left adrift and alone in an inhuman environment, the only company the slow drones of the soundtrack. If you have the patience to slowly consume the atmosphere, then you’re unlikely to find Kairo a waste of the £3 it’s currently retailing for.

The game story is pretty generic, but it flows with a commendable fluid motion. A classic Mario ‘let’s go save the princess!’ storyline, which stars an agave farmer named Juan who is bestowed with a luchadore mask which grants him mystical melee superpowers. His aim? To go and defeat his princess-stealing nemesis Carlos Calaca, who has cheated the devil at his own game and overthrown the underworld in the hope of world domination. In your pursuit of this deranged demon you must overcome his mischievous minions such as the aptly named ‘Flame Face’ by journeying through a plethora of temples, forests and other areas, whilst gaining intriguing power-ups and abilities, such as my personal favourite, the ‘chicken-morph’. On top of this to fill gamers insatiable appetites there are a number of random side missions which gave the game a hint of Deathspank, roaming the area in search of a fancy cheese so you can build the world’s biggest enchilada, or chasing down the infamous chicken in Santa Luchida which has a fetish for stealing treasure.

DrinkBox, the developers, have definitely nailed the gameplay, which moves with an elegant fluidity that leaves you neither bored nor wanting, giving a perfect equilibrium between puzzling, fighting and roaming the environment. The indie-style graphics add a certain zest to the game which is unmistakable along with this fluidity, which when coupled with the wondrous non-linear environment to explore, makes this game an enticing and enjoyable experience. The occasional cut scenes add a comical innocence similar to the likes of Lego games, which frequently made me chuckle and celebrate, especially when I gained a new special ability to threaten my foreboding foes with.

Fighting your way through hordes of enemies is hugely satisfying in this game with an impressive compendium of moves, abilities and possible combos that rivals even the likes of Street Fighter (and matches the difficulty to perform the moves in multiple cases). I was frequently wounded due to my indecisiveness to choose an attack, fortunately the game tries to aid you in your decision by providing enemies with shields that can only be destroyed using certain abilities. Once you have a firm grasp on the combat system however, the combat becomes thoroughly enjoyable and makes you feel surprisingly god-like. There is also a plethora of annoying enemies, ranging from overweight exploding bats to bomb-throwing cacti, which will leave you tearing at your hair as you plow through multiple arena zones, as in any good platformer.

An upbeat cacophony of Mariachi style tunes is an apt description of Guacamelee’s music. It will get your feet tapping as you wander the various civilian areas of the game and possibly even whistling along to the epic trumpet solos like I did. Whilst pursuing the princess through the perilous enemy-infiltrated forests, deserts and temples, the music alters to a more sinister flamenco style which I found (being an experienced musician) extremely well composed and made the game more thrilling as I beat up enemy skeletons and cacti alike.

Collectibles are a big part of the game, scouring the area for potential health and stamina upgrades to increase the awesomeness of Juan sucked up a lot of my playtime, and finding all of these will probably eat up quite a few more hours of enigmatic gameplay as they are deceptively hidden and many require logical thinking and a minor aspect of luck in order to obtain. Back-tracking is also encouraged by the game, as you increase your artillery of muscle mayhem, you are able to return to previous sections and storm through special colour-coded blocks with satisfying ease to plunder the treasure that lurks within. There are also upgrades which can be purchased with coins acquired from defeating foes and uncovering hidden treasure chests which help to maximise Juan’s already freakish muscles. But even with these collectibles and an unlockable ‘hard mode’ upon completion, don’t expect to eke out more than about ten hours of gameplay.

Guacamelee! is definitely worth the price tag, especially if you own a Playstation Vita as purchasing the game allows a cross-buy version free. Far from a copycat of Metroid, this platformer places a strong emphasis on Mexican folklore and culture that is unrivalled, making it an innovative experience, and a pleasure to play and review.

When this is your protagonist’s biggest claim to fame…

If I wrote an article in response to every Kotaku article that upset me, I would probably need to do this full-time. Kirk Hamilton just recently wrote about Bioshock: Infinite, claiming that the violence in the game is unnecessary, and that it hurts the strength of the game. Not only is this wrong, but the idea of it offends me. Kirk’s article proves that he entirely misunderstands the point of the game, the main character, and the story and analysis within the powerful narrative of Infinite itself. Infinite is an example of a merge between story and gameplay; the perfect combination required to make a powerfully messaged video game.

Enter our protagonist, Booker DeWitt: a snarky, hard spoken man of action. He also happens to be a veteran of two massacre leveled “battles”, where he was known to scalp his fallen foes, a former Pinkerton agent, a gambling addict, and heavy drinker. If it hasn’t already become apparent, Booker is a violent man, and when you put a violent person into conflict, why is it a shock when they respond with violence?

Why is this a surprising reaction to being taken captive?

One central, overlooked theme of Infinite is the difference between “forgiveness” and “wiping away” something. Booker’s departure from this being his main attribute is one of many points in Infinite‘s plot. Elizabeth is entirely frightened by you after she witnesses you massacre a group of enemies, like normal people would be, only sobering after she understands that the mass murderer is her temporary protector, and that her freedom lies in his hands. His ascension from murder as his default reaction comes forth during the game’s second act, exploring the plight of the lower class, understanding that not every person needs to die. The end of the story has him come to grips with his identity; he wants to protect and save, he wants to be fundamentally good, but he is too far gone and murder is too familiar a tool for him to live without. Booker has sought and found forgiveness for his murdering past, changing from a serial murderer, justified only in the loosest terms of morality and warfare, into a reluctantly violent protector, who has began to channel the rage and blood lust that consumed his life into a force for good.

Therein is the sole difference between Comstock and Booker; the difference between what they seek. Comstock exists as a version of Booker who wanted the literal interpretation of Baptism, for his sins to be wiped away and forgotten, not forgiven. But Comstock misses the point of baptism, because rather than be repentant for his crimes, he frees himself of the guilt and abuses his newfound freedom to commit more acts of evil and selfishness, shaping a false faith around his supposed glories. In a misguided and misunderstood quest for redemption, Booker found a way for him to leave his past behind, only to pick up a new shield to hide from his evil. Booker, on the other hand, rejects the notion that his crimes can be wiped away with water, and internalizes this turmoil, causing him to try to find a true path to redemption.

That’s why, despite Comstock not killing a single person on-screen, he still comes off as a bigger villain than our hook wielding hero; Comstock is unrepentant of his crimes. So what happens when we put context and analysis behind the “excessive violence” of Infinite? Why it suddenly seems like it has a narrative purpose and makes sense doesn’t it? When used as a tool for drawing the difference in the theme of “forgiveness vs. wiping away sins”, violence becomes a significant symbol and tool of the story.

Will you take the baptism, or won’t you? Well, you don’t get the choice this time around…

“Well Nick,” you say, begrudgingly understanding of the fact that Infinite’s violence make narrative sense, “Why does the Kirk’s article offend you? It’s just his opinion.” Kirk’s article offends me because it becomes appallingly clear that Kirk misunderstands the point of Bioshock, he misunderstands what makes the game good, and he has the gall to claim that the violence is why our culture will not be accepted by the mainstream media. Kirk’s highlights of the intro break down to him being impressed by pretty set pieces and pretty colors, but the moment he is confronted by something that makes him a twinge uncomfortable, he starts throwing up red flags. An interracial couple faced with the prospect of stoning with highly racist imagery? Well that’s just not PC! Booker shoves the face of a racist cop into the spinning hook blade meant for HIS face, and starts murdering people? Well golly, that’s just not family friendly! Infinite is supposed to make you uncomfortable and make you cringe, the whole point of this intro was to highlight how backwards and horrifying this seemingly pristine culture was!

Kirk’s discomfort with the violence and urge that we sweep this sort of thing under the rug so “his sister or other friends” can watch him play games flies in the face of the themes and point of Bioshock: Infinite. Saying Infinite would be better without all of the things that made him uncomfortable would be akin to saying “Requiem for a Dream was a good movie, but it’d be better without all that icky drug abuse and sex” or “I wish 2Pac rapped about puppies, so I could finally show my mom the value of rap music” or “Man, if only Cersei Lannister stopped killing people and having incestuous sex with her brother and cousin, I could finally get my pastor to watch Game of Thrones with me!”.

Censorship and PC-isms are hallmarks of not just our generation, but of another antiquated era; that we can wipe away the past that our ancestors have committed. Like the controversy around Django: Unchained, Infinite has attempted to show the ugly side of history, and embellished or not, interracial couples were frowned upon (with stoning not being out of the question), people looked down on other races, theme parks were once super-patriotic indoctrination centers, factories once did in fact pay workers in funny-money redeemable only in their stores and the like. These are real facets of history, and to wipe them away for the sake of modern comfort is the exact opposite of the lesson of Infinite. Instead of attempting to bury them, hide them, and wipe away old sins, we need to face the reality of their existence and find new ways to move past them. If we are relating this lesson solely to the game, we need to understand that elimination of these core elements weaken the story, and the violence of Infinite is core because Booker is core, and one of Booker’s most defining traits is how goddamned violent and scary he is.

This civilization does this to sick people. We are not supposed to root for them or think this is okay.

The lesson here: Games don’t need the approval of the mainstream media. This, and a few other AAA titles are steps in the direction of merging powerful stories and narratives and amazing gameplay. The merge of interactivity with the ability to craft narratives and stories that studio executives would reject has made the games industry unique, giving us the chance to present stories in unorthodox ways and finding stories the mainstream media wouldn’t show. If the mainstream media can’t approve of that, then perhaps its time we stopped waiting on the approval of a bunch of uptight and hackneyed zombies in suits, who can’t handle the idea that they raised a poor generation of children and would rather blame everything but themselves. The only thing wrong with Bioshock: Infinite is that it isn’t longer and that there isn’t more for us to analyze and see.

Nick Nguyen is a self-styled game analyst and amateur journalist. He counts Bioshock: Infinite among Far Cry 3 and Spec Ops: The Line as games that are changing our generation for the better.

Chris, Scott, Callum, and Nick band together to talk about:

• Insect-Based Fetishism!
• Child Trafficking!
• Not Time-Travel!
• Metacritic!
• DRM!
• Not Space-Squids!

And much more!

Please be warned, however, that there are major spoilers for Bioshock Infinite, among other games.

Intro/Outro Credit: Tank!

Written By: Yoko Konno

Performed By: The Seatbelts